Crown of Beauty Read online

  “I understand. I want what’s best for Josie, of course, and if she’s more comfortable with her mother, that’s where she, where you both, should be.”

  Arthur looked at her.

  “You weren’t really paying attention, were you?”

  He smiled and leaned his head back on the seat, allowing his eyes to close. Catherine only ever saw him relax like this when they were alone in the carriage together, and it pleased her that he felt as if he didn’t have to be so formal and polite with her. After all, they were siblings, and she was his Cat now, as she had been when they were children.

  “I am sorry, truly. I have such a bad habit of letting my mind wander, but it isn’t as if I don’t care about what you were saying. I know that Mother doesn’t like that you and Josie are living with Josie’s mother, but I know it’s for the best, and eventually you’ll move back home. Won’t you?”

  Perhaps she had missed some new information that touched on an important detail like that. She held back a sigh and sat up straighter as she continued.

  “Regardless, it’s up to you, not Mother, but I know how she is. I was just thinking about Lillian.”

  Arthur frowned and rolled his head to the side, his eyes watching her.

  “Really? You weren’t listening to me because you were thinking about our mother’s maid?”

  Before she could answer, his lips twitched upwards into a small, wry smile.

  “Are you sure you weren’t thinking about a certain young man I’ve been spending a lot of time with, one who is about to move in with Mr. Van Alden so he can work with him on some designs Van Alden has for some City projects?”

  “Oh!” Catherine had no idea that such arrangements had been made. “How exciting!”

  “And you’re certain you weren’t thinking of him?”

  She sank a little in her seat and looked away, tugging at the blanket that hung loosely around her shoulders.

  “Catherine, we don’t know anything about him. I see the way you two sneak glances at each other, and I don’t want you to hope for something that can’t be.”

  She looked out of the carriage window at the gray skies that seemed to surround them. The sun had been elusive over the past few days, and she hoped it would appear soon, especially if she knew that Will wouldn’t be around at the shelter every day. She was happy for him, of course, but living elsewhere and having something productive to keep him busy would mean that they would hardly, if ever, see each other, even less than they did now.

  “Catherine.”

  Her head felt heavy on her shoulders but she turned it to look at Arthur. He had reached out to touch her arm as he spoke, and his gaze was full of concern.

  “Maybe it’s time for you to stop coming out with me. If you’re to be married, as Mother insists, there are plans to make and . . .”

  “No!” Catherine interrupted him, but he didn’t flinch. Their mother would have been furious if she spoke out while the older woman was talking, but Arthur just blinked, waiting for her continue. She shook her head.

  “I want to keep working, and learning. Grace is so wonderful, and she’s been teaching me so much more than baking. I love taking care of the children, and visiting people who are too old or sick to come out to get what they need, bringing food and supplies, it feels like I’m doing something good. Helpful. Don’t take that away from me.”

  Her brother surprised her by reaching around her shoulders and pulling her against him into a hug. She sat pressed against him for a few moments before she allowed herself to lean into him, her head resting on his shoulder.

  “I’m proud of you, Cat. I’m just worried. I see how he looks at you, and while he seems honorable, I don’t want anything getting in the way of your future happiness.”

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

  “Thank you. There’s nothing to worry about, though. We’ve hardly spoken, and we’re both occupied with different tasks, so there’s no reason for us to spend time together. I’m just curious, I suppose. The memory loss. It’s such a mystery.”

  She felt the beat of his heart only inches away from her own, and thought, all of this is his, the idea, the kindness, the hard work, and a surge of pride rushed through her.

  “But the success of First Steps is no mystery. I’m so impressed with all you’ve done, and so proud to call you my brother.”

  His chest hitched a second as he held his breath, then released it slowly as he squeezed her close quickly then released her.

  “Thank you. It means so much that you find value in the work we do, what we do together now, and how meaningful it is to those in need. I can’t take credit for it, though - Josie brought me to the mindset I needed, the reliance on Christ, trusting Him to direct me to do His will. Of course, she and I worked together to open First Steps, and she’s been by my side in every way until she became too ill to do so. I think the timing of your presence is significant, don’t you? She can rest knowing that I have a reliable helper in you.”

  She shook her head, which wasn’t that easy tucked up against him.

  “I am nothing like Josie. She’s so much smarter and attentive than I am, and she always knows what she’s doing. She’s so sure of herself. It’s hard to believe we’re about the same age. I feel like she’s years ahead of me in so many ways.”

  Arthur was quiet for what seemed a long time, but Catherine kept silent. She knew that he was thinking, and wanted to give him time to work out whatever it was he wanted to say. The carriage rocked a bit now and again, and she thought that if the ride were much longer, she could have fallen asleep before they made it home.

  “She’s been working for several years now, and has always had a strong faith that has guided her. Her mother has been a supportive influence, too, so she’s had an advantage in that. I don’t know who I would be without her, and now, I know that we are both being tested through the difficulties she is having. She would love a visit from you and Sarah, as well as prayers for her. For both of us.”

  More prayers. Catherine had been saying prayers more regularly, overhearing Arthur and the other volunteers at the shelter saying them out loud with clients, sharing them together at quieter times when they were unoccupied with new arrivals, and remembering to say them when she was alone. She didn’t know if they did any good, but she knew that good things were happening, as well as bad, and maybe she was noticing the positive more than she had in the past. She hoped that her prayers for Josie would be heard, and that saying a prayer for Will and his future, for his memory to return, would not be inappropriate in God’s eyes.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Will couldn’t help smiling as he stared at the sketches Mr. Van Alden had rolled out in front of him. The huge desk that served as a drafting table for his new patron was worn and faded, well-used over the years that Van Alden had polished his skills as an architect. He was so well-known and respected that Will had difficulty believing that this opportunity had opened up for him, one that came about through Arthur’s connections and hard work on Will’s behalf.

  “Prayers, faith, hard work . . . the best foundation for any endeavor,” Arthur had explained, shaking his head as he dodged Will’s thanks. It had been several weeks since Will had found himself at Arthur’s feet, literally and figuratively, and every day he was amazed at Arthur’s tireless work for him and every other stranger who darkened the door of First Steps.

  “Van Alden was devastated by the death of his only son when the boy was very young, and I think this is good for him as well as you. The two of you had a connection the first time you met, and it’s been clear that he is impressed with the sharpness of your mind and skills when it comes to design.”

  The two of them were walking without any other purpose than to talk, as the afternoon had left the shelter busy with current clients who were in the good care of other volunteers, and Arthur had suggested stepping out for some privacy. Will had glanced quickly and hopefully without Arthur’s knowledge into the kitchen, where Cat
herine was showing a girl only a few years younger than herself how to roll out cookie dough. When her blue eyes met his, he had nearly stumbled, and Arthur’s voice snapped his attention back to Catherine’s brother, where it should have been. He was a liar, Will thought, and held off the urge to shake his head over how he had fooled these kind people. A liar and a cheat. There was probably another young man more worthy of Arthur and Mr. Van Alden’s time and concern, another young man who didn’t have a family business to wrestle out from ruin, from responsibilities to an uncle who had only been good to him his whole life and was now left with the entire mess to manage.

  “Once you’re living with the Van Aldens, the rest will be up to you. I want you to know that I’ll be here if you need advice, or just to talk. I know you still have a lot to work out, especially when it comes to your memories, but there’s something I like about you.”

  Arthur stopped and turned to look directly at Will, his hands in his pockets.

  “Looking at my sister is not that something.”

  His gaze didn’t falter, and Will opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He had no idea how to respond to Arthur, but he felt incredibly stupid that he had imagined his glances over the past few weeks had gone unnoticed by Arthur or his sister. Perhaps Catherine had mentioned it. She always seemed to smile at him, or look away shyly, but he worried now that perhaps he had offended her in some way.

  “It’s true that we don’t know who you are, and my parents would never allow her to be involved with a man whose identity was unverified, never mind of a class lower than Catherine’s, but I can’t really speak to the last, as you know.”

  While Arthur’s devoted volunteers hung on his every word and direction, what they didn’t do was keep their mouths shut. They crowed and bragged about Arthur with pride and to his dismay, gossiped about any personal details they knew about him, his family, and his new bride.

  “She was just a maid, one that his mother disliked. And now she’s a grand lady, living so well.”

  “Not so well now, sick with that baby of his, the poor girl. But she’s tough, and they will all be fine in the end.”

  “Miss Josie is an angel. A perfect little angel. Turned Mr. Arthur into the man he is, a little girl like that. Works just as hard as he does, and he doesn’t mind saying so.”

  When Arthur wasn’t around, everyone talked, and the shelter clients learned more about Arthur and Josie than they ever needed or wanted to know. They were entertained and astonished, and Will thought, more comfortable for understanding their benefactors on a personal level. Will was sure that Arthur wasn’t pleased that he and his wife were the subject of so much talk, but there was little he could do about it, and he seemed to Will to be the sort of person to choose his battles and how to spend his anger very carefully.

  “I must be honest with you, Will. I think you remember more than you’re saying, and I’m sure you have reasons for keeping secrets, but secrets will keep you from building new relationships, and will come out eventually whether you want them to or not. If you can’t be upfront about everything . . .”

  Arthur took a deep breath and looked away.

  “Don’t even think about Catherine. She deserves stability, surety. She wants to travel, and I admit that I’ve fed that in her through the books I purchase for her to read, even though our mother doesn’t really approve. Catherine needs someone she can know completely, someone she can trust, who won’t try to change her.”

  He turned and stepped directly in Will’s path and Will blinked, unsure how to respond to such a personal divulgence. Catherine was all the more alluring to him now, her beauty only one facet of the fuller picture of a girl with intelligence and awareness. Not only did he not deserve the company of such a woman, but he wasn’t allowed it. Arthur was right in every way, but it hurt Will to have his own insecurities validated by someone whose opinion he had come to respect and value. He had been disappointing his father and uncle for years, and now that he had the chance at a fresh start, he didn’t want to disappoint anyone who had gone out of their way to help him. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone at all, including himself.

  He looked down at his shoes, shoes polished and shining in the sun. Arthur kept telling him to pray for patience with himself as well as with what life had handed him, and what it would bring in the future. Prayer could be silent, brief, and yet meaningful. His thoughts ran quickly to a plea, asking God to lead him where He would, and thanks for keeping him safe so far. He couldn’t bring himself to touch on the dishonesty in his heart, dishonesty for hiding his past from Arthur, and for the lie he was about to tell the young man in front of me.

  “She’s not for me. I understand that.”

  He looked into Arthur’s eyes as he spoke, and knew immediately that his new friend didn’t believe a word that he said.

  Sarah had rushed into Catherine’s room late the night before, crying profusely over so many things that Catherine could hardly keep them straight. Sarah was overwhelming at times, and it was hard to believe that they were sisters at all, never mind of the same age, practically, but Sarah’s concerns were legitimate, although her responses were overdramatic. Or were they?

  She had spent the Sunday walking to Josie’s with Sarah, taking the Cliff Walk and greeting the few acquaintances who were left in town. There were servants strolling along as well, who kept their eyes downcast and nodded towards them as they moved past, but smiled and greeted Annie and Becky as if they were old friends. Their mother had insisted that the girls bring their maids, as if they couldn’t look out for themselves together. Catherine watched Sarah gaze longingly out over the ocean, and knew that her sister was missing her beach parties. Catherine and Sarah both loved the water, but Sarah could live in a bathing costume if allowed.

  “Charlie and Ned say that the servants have parties out here among themselves when they have a night off. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

  “No, Sarah. Not at all. Don’t even think about it.”

  Sarah tugged at Catherine’s arm.

  “Whatever do you mean? I was just mentioning it.”

  She pouted and turned her focus back on the water.

  “If I may, miss,” Annie spoke up from behind them quietly but firmly.

  “Yes, Annie?” Catherine stopped and Sarah turned along with her. Annie would never venture an opinion if one of the Davenport parents were around, but would tell the girls something if she thought they needed to hear it.

  “There’s drinking, and such things that aren’t right for a young lady to see. It wouldn’t be safe, Miss Sarah.”

  Sarah sighed and shook her head.

  “I would never,” she started, and Becky turned away from them, shifting to face the direction from which they came. Sarah stomped her foot and marched off ahead, and Catherine couldn’t muster an interest in racing after her. She’d slow down eventually, to look at the ocean or watch the gulls, perhaps to watch someone else who was doing the same or something interesting that she didn’t want to miss.

  “Oh, Miss Davenport.”

  Will was suddenly in front of her, and Catherine had no idea how he could have appeared without warning. She heard Annie’s sharp intake of breath beside her.

  “Will. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

  He tilted his head and she did the same, and she felt Annie move to step behind her to allow them a measure of privacy.

  “It’s such a beautiful day, and we’ve had so few of them lately.”

  Catherine nodded and opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. Before too much time elapsed, he spoke again.

  “I’m sorry if I surprised you. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

  She felt herself smile without a second thought as she stared into the clear blue of his eyes.

  “Oh, no, it isn’t that. I’m just, I just daydream a lot and I’m afraid my thoughts were elsewhere.”

  That was true to some extent, and he couldn’t know that instea
d of her usual imaginary travels she had just been remonstrating against her little sister, who was nowhere in sight now.

  “Becky,” she called softly, and found that her sister’s maid was walking around her, headed north towards their destination just as Sarah had. She stifled a sigh and turned her attention back to Will. He was watching her carefully, as if she was was of great interest to him. She couldn’t imagine how she could be; after all, there was so little to her, she was just a rich girl who had too much time on her hands, and spent it reading and doing her best to keep her sister out of trouble. She could feel Annie move a little closer to her, protectively, since the two of them were now alone with Will, and she couldn’t help but smile. Will’s expression shifted instantly, then intensity replaced by something like relief, and he returned her smile with a charming one of his own. She resisted the urge to lean closer to him, ashamed that she could be so forward, but he didn’t seem to notice, or he didn’t care.

  “I heard . . .”

  “How are . . .”

  They both spoke at the same time, then laughed. The tension between them eased into something more comfortable, but Catherine still felt as if a connection pulled between them, like a thread wound tight.

  “Please, Miss Davenport, continue.”

  She opened her mouth but could not find her voice. He was watching her, his eyes never leaving hers, and her mind went blank, her vision filled with nothing more than his face, the interest in his eyes, and she couldn’t remember what she had been about to say. His smile dissolved and his eyes grew dark, but somehow she knew that he was having the same trouble.